Wow! We Can Do Anything!

So a week after posting here that someone should bring coffee to AYSO practices on Saturday mornings, it happened! Thanks to Coffee Labs and AYSO!

(Actually I'm not sure the post was even connected to the presence of coffee and treats at Peabody field. But let's assume it was.)

Obviously we can do anything. Here are some other problems that have come up recently in our town conversations, along with proposed solutions:

Problem:

The Tappan Zee Bridge is being replaced by a really expensive bigger bridge that will bring a lot more traffic and pollution to Tarrytown/Sleepy Hollow.

Solution:

One end of the bridge could be in Nyack, and the other end could be in Governor Cuomo's back yard. 

Problem: 

There aren't enough fields for everyone to play on around here.

Solution: 

A two-minute time limit on all games in every sport, followed by "sudden death." Or, if the field is really crowded that day, just start with "sudden death." (Also glow-in-the-dark balls, shoes, and uniforms, so everyone can play in the dark, like in Tron.)

Problem:

Our taxes are bananas.

Solution:

As we all know, schooling is the big-ticket item here. When many companies face high taxes, they relocate operations offshore. Perhaps our children should be educated in the Cayman Islands.

Problem:

People speed through the neighborhoods like maniacs, endangering children and animals.

Solution:

Our children will be in the Cayman Islands, so it's OK to speed I guess. Everyone keep your pets indoors! Wait, this also takes care of the field problem (I guess everyone will be on the swim team).

Problem:

Too many deer.

Solution:

Try to remember what it was like the first time you ever saw a deer, how amazed you were at being in the presence of such a beautiful creature which you now know brings Lyme's disease and extensive planting limitations to people everywhere.

With our kids gone, we'll probably want more pets around anyway. So just make friends with the deer.

Problem:

Because of Al Gore, winter storms are beginning in October these days, ruining Halloween.

Solution:

Let's have Halloween every Saturday, when our kids come home from the Caymans for the weekend. It'll be like a big "welcome back" party. (But, the inconvenient truth is that no one is allowed to go as Al Gore.)

Happy Halloween everybody!